A few weeks ago our son got engaged to beautiful, sweet Sarah. They both love Jesus. My husband and I couldn’t be happier or more grateful. Just like we did with our daughter, we’ve prayed for our son’s spouse since the day he was born. I remember sitting in the hospital listening as my husband held our newborn son and told him to grow up to be a good boy and make good choices. He did both.
The engagement happened just as this son started his high school teaching career. He’s drinking from a refreshing fire hydrant! I think back to one year ago and remember that it looked like Jake would end up doing his student teaching in a difficult school far from the area where we live. He had no special lady in his life. Turns out, he was assigned to the exact school he wanted and he met his wonderful girl a few weeks later. Even before these two events, God had shown me that all my desires are before him (Psalm 38:9). Wow — God cares about what matters to me, but He also wants me to trust Him with what matters to me. ( BTW, he is now employed at that same school.)
They’re having a November wedding. I’ve always loved November.
As they make their wedding plans, I see them working to balance the stress of decisions, ideas, opinions, and to-do lists while still focusing on why they are getting married in the first place — each other. I think they are doing a pretty good job of it all, though I am sure it may not feel that way to them. They have been moving things into the home where they will live — most notably, Jake himself. That makes my husband and I official empty nesters.
Speaking of empty-nesting, I’ve learned something about myself in the last few years. I like to fix things. Nope, not repair things. Yep, make things better/solve problems. You know…super hero type stuff. I guess I first became aware of this “fixation” when our daughter got married in 2011, and now it stares me in the face. I realize I cannot fix everything for my adult children. I get the pleasure of seeing them enjoy good times, but when my adult children face an adult problem or decision, I usually can’t fix it. Long gone are the days when a band-aid made everything better. Now, don’t think that my children have totally shunned my husband and me. They still come to us for advice. But, for the person with a “fixation,” giving advice can feel like receiving a Participation Ribbon. Where has this “fixation” dilemma landed me? On my knees. I have to trust my Heavenly Father with “my” children. He reminds me that as much as I care for them, He cares more. He is also far more capable of “fixing” things than I ever would be. Besides, He knows exactly what the “fix” needs to be.
It is a privilege to pray for my children, but it isn’t always easy for me to leave their problems with Jesus. Sometimes, I get off my knees and have to plop right back down. (Okay, the knees thing is basically symbolic. My knees aren’t too cooperative. In reality, I’m sitting most of the time when I pray.)
In reality, there are many woes and sorrows that God alone can fix. I think of my salvation. I am so grateful that I didn’t have to fix my sin problem or try to work my way into Heaven or pick the best option. Goodness! I’d be in panic mode. But, God, graciously fixed that problem for all mankind through Jesus Christ. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He doesn’t force the fix on any of us. We each must choose to accept the fix. I hope that you will if you have not already. If you confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus Christ, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9.
Meanwhile, back to the wedding. I need an easy fix for shedding a few pounds before the big day. There isn’t one. Someone once told me, losing weight is one food decision after another. That’s good advice. Well.
Thanks for reading. And by the way, Ben, a character in my book, Among the Crepe Myrtles, struggles a bit with his own self-reliance and “fixations.” (Not sure who inspired that when I wrote him. Cough. Cough.) Does he overcome this tendency? My advice is to read the story and find out. Ha!